


You saving Arthur from an overdose

by ArthurFlecksGirl



Category: Joker (2019)
Genre: F/M, Love, Medication, Mental Illness, Romance, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, mental issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:00:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24860461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArthurFlecksGirl/pseuds/ArthurFlecksGirl
Summary: You find Arthur overdosed on his meds
Relationships: Arthur Fleck/You
Kudos: 13





	You saving Arthur from an overdose

Coming home to Arthur felt different today. There was this weird feelig inside of you, creeping. The whole day at work was just about waiting to finally open that door and see if Arthur was doing okay. You wish you never left the house in the morning, after how he felt last night. But you couldnt risk to lose your job, paying rent was diffucult enough these days.  
Arthur had a very hard time last night. He was lying in bed, his sheets on the floor, mumbling like he was only half awake. A feverish look upon his face, though you checked twice and he didnt had a fever. Everytime you asked him what is wrong, he would just cling to you like a child that is afraid of the dark, not even answering your questions.   
He felt better in the morning and told you that he was okay with you going to work, he knew you needed the money. But you still left with a real bad feeling.   
Maybe it was one of his episodes when the hallucinations started to set in again. You had experinced this with him before and you were kinda afraid of it. Seeing him like this made you feel like there was nothing you could possibly do. Which wasn`t true. Your presence helped him to get through this. He knew you were there, even if he wasnt responding all of the time. He felt your arms around his body, even if his mind was somewhere else. Your love was cradeling him in the sweetest embrace, even if he felt like falling. You fell with him. Every time. And he knew he would be save when he hits the ground. Deep down he knew he would find himself in the comfort of his bed. You would cover his shaking body with the sheets he loved so much and never leave his side again.  
And you would tell him how much you loved him. Over and over again, no matter how many times he had to hear it. There was no chance you could never get tired of telling him. You would take a pen and write it all over his chest "I love you, I love you, I love you". And he would see the love notes on his skin in the morning when he wakes up from his episode , realizing that at least you being here for him wasnt a dream.  
You imagin him standing in front of the mirror,touching his chest, re-drawing the lines of the letters you wrote on him while crying. And not long after that he would take the same pen to write "Forever and a day" on the palms of your hands, placing a thoughtful kiss on the fresh written letters, make them a blurr.   
You started this little game a while ago when Arthur was too afraid to tell you something. Giving him a pen and ask him to write it on your skin was an idea he really liked. To write something down was easier for him than to actually say it and to writing it on your skin instead of paper made it much more intimate. A soundless whisper across your skin. A promise.

The bathroom door was closed when you arrived at home, a silent whine coming from behind the walls. The gut feeling was right about him. He was in trouble.  
You felt yor hands starting to shake as you took off your coat and threw the keys on the couch. Taking a deep breath before opening that bathroom door didnt helped to calm you down.  
"Darling, I am home, are you okay?"  
Arthur was supporting himself on the sink. Topless and all sweaty. His hair fell into his fearful face, the muscles on his arms twitching from tension.   
You hurried up to hug him and get his hair out of his face. His lips formed some words but there was no sound "Arthur"! Oh my god. Please talk to me. What happened?"   
Arthur angled his head to face you, the hurtful look in his eyes hit you like a knife. A sharp pain was reaching your heart. He wasn`t okay. He wasn`t okay at all. Why did you had to go to work? Why didnt you stayed with him this morning? Deep down you knew he wasnt okay. Even though he told you so. You blamed yourself for this.  
The more he tried to talk to you , the weaker his knees got. You could feel his legs giving in as he sank to the bathroom floor. Voiceless and helpless.   
"Artie. Can you hear me? Please try to talk to me. Are you awake?"  
You kneed down on the floor to cradle him in your arms "Baby, please!" you begged. This seemed way more serious than the last time.  
You supported his head with your right hand while you kissed his cheek "Arthur? Baby? Just tell me if you can hear me, okay?"  
A silent nodd. So little it was almost nothing.   
"You`re here...." he mumbled so quietly you had to place your ear to his lips to make out the words.  
"I am here, baby. I am so sorry I went to work. I should have known...." and just as you wanted to reach for the towel to dry his sweaty forehead, you noticed the almost empty bottle of pills lying under the sink.  
No.  
This cant be true.  
This must have been some kind of nightmare.  
"Arthur, did you took more meds than you should have?"  
His eyes rolled back into his head as he nodded.  
"No, no,no,no,no. Please no" your eyes watered with tears of desperation.  
Seeing Arthur in this condition felt like the life has been sucked out of you. You massaged his twitching muscles to help him relax "I think I´m gonna call the ambulance now" you heard yourself say. Everything felt like you experienced it from a birds eye view. Like you watched yourself holding Arthurs tiney body in your arms, right there on the cold bathroom floor. His face expression told you that he was spacing out. "You heard me, baby? I`m going to call the ambulance now".  
Something about that words seemed to wake something up inside of him "Noooo" he gasped. "No ambulance, PLEASE!" you`ve never heard such a desperate tone in his voice before.   
"I have to! "  
Arthur pressed his face against your chest, his heavy breath made you shiver.  
"No ambulance. They will come and FIND me. Lock me....they will lock me up." His voice sounded raspy "No prison. Please!"  
"Baby, why shoudl they lock you up in prison?"  
"No prison please Y/N. I ....dont .......wanna leave you!" 

You took his face between your hands and tried to make eye contact, but it seemed impossible. Arthur couldnt focus on anything. You had to do something about the overdose. Now.  
"How long has it been since you took all those pills?"  
Arthur muttered something you couldnt understand.  
"Artie, I cant head you. You have to talk louder. How long since you took those meds? Was it long ago?"  
Arthur shrugged.  
"Baby, plase I have to know. This is very important. is it a while since you took them?"  
He finally shook his head. His brown curls glueing to his forehead.  
"So it wasnt that long ago, right ?"  
He nooded.  
"Alright, Arthur. So you can hear me. Listen. We have to get those shit out of your body, okay? I will help you with that. It will be uncomfortable but this is very important. "  
Arthurs head felt heavier in your chest now. He was about to lose conciousness.  
"Stay with me! We have to make you vomit, oaky? So those pills will get out of your stomach? I will help you with that by sticking my finger down your troath. Do you understand?"  
Arthur started to sobb. His thick tears soaked your shirt. You could feel them through the fabric.  
"No please...I`m so dizzy, Y/N" he cried.  
" Shhht baby, I know, thats why we have to take care of that. You will feel better afterwards. Do you trust me?"  
Arthur nooded.  
"Okay. So just trust me ,okay? Can you try to sit up straight?"  
"I dont know...."  
"I`ll support you...C´mon" you lifted Arthur up to sit straight. Which wasnt as complicated as you throught because he didnt weight much. You helped him knee in front of the bathtub and slowly put your index finger into his mouth. Inch by inch. Arthur gesped.   
"I know Artie. But there is no other way. Don`t fight it. Just try to get it out of you".  
Arthur looked like he was choking as your finger slit deeper down his throath. It hurt you do do this but it was the only way to help him. Your other hand brushed his sweaty hair out of his face.  
Your tried to be very careful with your finger but you had to find the right spot to suceed. It didnt took long until Arthur managed to vomit into the bathtub. The remains of the pills still visible. You felt the relief althrough your body as he kept on spitting it out. As hard as it was to watch. This was good. The rest of the pills wouldnt find their way in his systhem.   
"You`re doing great, Arthur. Keep going. I`m so proud of you. Keep going. I` right here ."  
Arthurs body shook from tension and fear. Goosebumbs covered his skin and you held him close in your arms after he was finished. His eyes were closed but his breath seemed to normalize again.  
You grabbed a towel and wiped the corners of his mouth "Can you look me in the eyes?"  
Arthur opened his eyes and gazed into yours.  
"Good. Thats good, baby. You did great. You will feel better soon.   
"Thank you" he whispered.  
"You dont have to thank me for that. "  
Arthur clinged to your body like he was hanging above a cliff and you were the last branch he could hold on to before he was about to fall."  
"Just hold me" he whimpered.  
"I will. Now and forever. But Arthur, why would you take all those pills?"  
Arthur rolled up in a ball and covered his face with his hands "I just thought that I couldnt live with what I had done..."  
His words shocked you in every way.   
"What do you mean? You wanted to kill yourself?"  
Arthur didnt answered.  
You couldnt stop yourself from crying. Your tears fell upon his hair and got caught in his cursls like flies in a beautiful spiders web.  
"You wanted to leave me?"  
"Nooooo" he cried "I never want to leave you. Ever. I just.....did something so bad. I thought I didnt deserve to live. I didnt deserve to be with you."  
You couldnt see his face anymore, it was covered with both of his hands now. He didnt wanted you to see him like that,  
"What are you talking about, Arthur?"  
And then he said it.  
His words felt like a thousand knifes through your heart. They set you on fire and you just sat there and watched yourself burn.  
"I killed a man".  
He seemed to get even smaller in your arms after he told you. If that was even possible. it already felt like holding a child.  
"W-what? Arthur? What did you just say?"  
He changed his position so he could look at you "Its true, I murdered someone. And I thought I couldnt live with that so I took those pills and...."  
"Arthur, you didnt murder someone. Dont talk to me like that."  
"But I did. I`m not joking!"  
"No of course you`re not joking but...why do you think you murdered someone? I mean how, when and why? Arthur please. You have to explain yourself better"  
"I`m still so dizzy..." he was tired. Very tired. Even to talk seemed to cost him too much energy.  
You should give him rest but as he said this wasnt a joke. You had to find out what happened. Was there a possibility? The slightest chance that Arthur really did kill someone? Was it an accident? Who was that man and how did ithappen? Did it even happen? Was it one of his hallucinations? Was he dreaming? "  
"I know you`re tired and we will get you some rest but first you have to talk to me about that. What do you think happened? Who did you murder and how?"  
Your mind was all over the place. What if he really did something? What if his hallucinations made him kill someone? Was he being bullied again?   
"I was in the basement to get some stuff. And suddenly there was this man standing behind me...he attacked me and jumped on my throath.He sqeezed it so I took the next best weapon lying next to me. A knife. I pushed it into him again and again until he was dead. It was self defense. But.... All the bood Y/N. All the blood. " Arthur shook his head. A diamond tear escaping his eye.  
You checked his neck. No signs of a fight. No bruises.   
You checked his whole body, his clothes. No blood. Nothing.  
"He was bleeding a lot?" you asked him  
"He bled all over me" Arthur replied.  
"Did you took a bath or a shower after this happened?"  
"No"  
"Darling. I dont think you killed someone. There is no blood on you. "  
Arthur pointed at his chest "But there`s..." he looked down on himself "....where is it? It was there. Y/N...t was there!" his whimper tranformed into a painful scream and yoiu pulled him closer to your chest. "Shhhht baby.....please try to calm down okay. We will find out what happened or not. "  
"The blood was there Y/N. belive me. I saw it." His eyes darkened " I even smelled it."  
"Where is the dead man now?"  
Arthur pointed down "Still there" he whispered like someone could hear him that shouldnt.  
You swallowed hard and tried not to let it show how afraid you were "Still in the basement?"  
Arthur nodded "He`s lying there on the floor. In a puddle of his own blood. I did this to him. Otherwise he would have killed me. "  
"You killed him with a knife?"  
"Yeah. Do you still love me?"  
"Show me your hands Arthur"  
He held his hands up, so close to your face you couldnt see anything but a blurr.  
Your hand grabbed his and you took a close look.   
Clean.  
"Did you wash your hands afterwards?"  
Arhurs buried his face in your neck, sobbing again "Nooo I got up in the apartment a minute later and took the bottle of meds. I just wanted it to stop." he slapped himself in the face.  
Your hand grabbed his hand, the one he just used to slap himself and you sqeezed it three times. Which was your version of "I love you".  
"Stop hurting yourself. There is no blood on your hands. Arthur, I think it was all an hallicination."  
"I did it" he claimed.  
"We can find out by going to the basement"   
"I dont want you to see the dead body. i dont want you to see what I have done. I want you to love me."  
"I will not see a dead body, Arthur. There isnt one. I just wanna proof to you that you didnt do anything wrong. Okay?"  
Arthur swallowed.  
"Do you trust me, Artie?"  
"I do"  
"Okay, so lets go down there. Can you walk?"  
"I think so".  
You helped him get up. He was still weak in the knees but he was getting better.  
You coudlnt deny the fear you felt while you walked down tose stairs. Deep down you knew that it was him hallucinating but there was still something inside of you that considered the possibility of a dead body lying on that basement floor.  
What if it he wasnt being delusional?  
What if there was a dead body in that bulding?  
What would you do?  
How would you react?  
Would you lose him?  
Would he go to jail?  
To Arkham? To stay there for the rest of his life?  
Or...  
Would you try help him to cover up his his crime?  
Help him hide that body...?  
You`re head started to get dizzy.  
This wasnt a joke.  
This was serious.  
Real serious.  
You have never been more anxious in your whole life.  
Please just let it be an hallucination of his.  
Please.  
There cant be a dead man in the basement.  
There cant be blood.  
Arthur was clean.  
Right?  
It just cant be true....  
"Will you still love me after you see that dead body?" he asked as you touched the door knob of the basement.  
"I will stop loving you the moment I cease to exist." you relplied and you opened that door.  
Step  
Step  
Step  
Step  
Your heart was racing as you felt te blood rushing to your ears.  
Everything was dark.  
A room drowed in darkness  
"Thats weird" Arthur said "I thought I let the lights on".  
You took a deep breath.  
Thats good.  
Thats really good.  
Hope.  
Another hallucination.  
There wil be nothing.  
Just an ordirary basement.  
You turned the lights on.

Nothing.  
No dead body.  
No signs of a fight.  
No blood.  
You fell to your knees and started to sob while Arthur was just standing there, his arms hanging down on him, realizing that it was all in his head.   
Silence.  
More silence.  
"There is....nothing. It was just me...I ....."  
You tried to say a word, to make a single sound but all you could possibly do was sobbing.  
Arthur kneed down to hold your face between his hands "I am so sorry. "  
"Artie....you almost killed yourself. Over nothing. I almost lost you. "  
He started to cry and rubbed his cheek against your cheek. His tears mixed with yours.  
"I must have been delusional again. It was....so real. I am so sorry I put you through this. Y/N. So, so sorry. You saved my life today. I am only alive because of you".  
You kept rubbing your cheek against his like there was a way to get closer. "If something feels wrong or happenes ever again,please just wait for me to come home or call a doctor. If you ever kill yourself....I couldnt live one day without you...."  
"I´m SO sorry." he whispered "I`m so messed up in the head"  
"Don`t say that, Arthur."  
"But its true."  
"I just dont want you to get through this stuff all by yourself ever again. Can you promise me that?"  
"I promise"  
"You should get some rest now. We both need it."  
"Yeah..."  
This time Arthur was the one helping you up and you both got back into the apartment.

You watched him fall asleep on the couch while you sat beside him, holding his hand in yours.  
A horrible as it was, today was an important experience to you.  
For a brief moment you considered he could have done something terrible but you still loved him like you did before.  
There was nothing in this world that could make you love him any less.  
Nothing.  
He was already asleep when you put his hand to your face and breathed in. His skin was your fave scent in the world.  
Arthur Fleck.  
The love of your life.  
You placed a soft kiss on the palm of his hand before you took a pen and wrote:  
"Forever and a day".  
For him to see it in the morning.  
Knowing you being there wasn`t a dream.


End file.
